Unacceptable Habits
by NemesisFate
Summary: Harry doesn’t realize that Severus gave up everything to be with him. And Severus, despite hurting, won’t say a word. Well, obviously someone has to interfere and does . HPSS slash


"What are you up to now?" asked Severus, stirring his tea calmly.

"I'm hanging around, working, trying to find a date…" Harry answered.

There was nothing strange about the two men sitting opposite from each other at the small café. They were good friends and often spent an hour or so with each other in the afternoons, as Severus' teaching schedule and Harry's work schedule allowed.

Severus made a noncommittal noise.

"Would you like to go on a date with me?" Harry asked shyly.

Severus looked at him suspiciously. "Why?" he asked warily. "Why me?"

Harry shrugged, turned to his tea. "Because I like you, and more than just as friends. I wanna see if anything could come of it."

"What about your other love interests?"

"I just keep finding I can't stand living with women. I know I'm bi, no problem with that – and I enjoy having sex with women just as much with men – but living with them! Merlin! They are so… complicated! They demand attention all the time. Come in, and they're brimming with energy and they want to talk about their day, when all I want to do is relax, read the paper, help with dinner, and just give my mind a bit of a break. And they always want to cuddle! Watching something, or just reading, or something, and they want to cuddle. And they are so bloody complex, like when they ask if a certain robe makes them look fat. I tell them no, they look fine, and off they go on how ugly they are! It's unbelievable. And all the ridiculous products littering the bathroom! Hair gels and shampoos and conditioners and seven types of bar soap and another twenty of liquid soap and twelve different lotions with the exact same properties, just different smells, nine shaving gels and razors and toothpastes ad naseum and perfumes and powders for the nose and another for the cheeks and lipstick and makeup and all this useless stuff! The clothes! The closet full of clothes and their insistence they have nothing to wear! And, oh, Merlin, the endless tidying! Everything in its exact place! The endless worrying about their weight! And their insistence that we talk about our relationship, and introspection, and emotions… If I mean it, I'll say I love them and mean it, and I'm proud of her, and enjoy being with her, and I take good care of her… but it's never enough! No, there's always something I wasn't attentive enough to catch! Merlin!" Harry finished his tirade against women.

He shook himself. "Sorry. I like women, I really do, but living with them can be an absolute nightmare."

"What about the men?"

"Now, them I like living with. They're just as tired as I am when we get home, and it's relatively silent until about dinnertime. We can read or watch something without having to cuddle, I'm not forced to hold hands everywhere we go, if I tell a man he looks fine in his robe, he takes it a compliment. There aren't fifty products in the bathroom. A bar of soap, some shaving gel, a razor, shampoo, toothpaste, toothbrush… That's it! Fewer clothes and an assurance of what looks good when, even if it isn't the most stunning piece ever. They don't mind if the room is a little messy! There isn't that they need to constantly watch what they eat and how much of it, because they don't feel they need to be twenty pounds underweight. And there isn't the constant talking about our relationship, and if I tell a man I love him, it's enough for him… But they don't always work out. Sometimes we just have differing ideas of what we want. Usually I want something longer-term, and they don't."

Severus nodded. "I'll date you, if you're sure that's what you want… something long-term. I don't do casual flings."

Harry smiled and grasped his hand.

They went out for dinner the following week. Before leaving for the dinner, Severus looked around his pristine rooms and sighed.

He took papers off his shelves and strewed them around his living room artfully. He took off several Potions books and placed them on the couch and the floor, with parchment sticking out of it. He did not spell the ashes in the fireplace away, and he covered the trinkets on his mantelpiece with dust. He moved onto his bedroom, where he spent a moment looking at his perfectly-made bed. He spent ten minutes every morning making that bed, making sure there were no wrinkles, that everything was perfectly even. Sighing, he got into the bed and threw the covers off himself, making it look like he had left it that way in the morning. He laid his head in the pillow and left an indentation and moved the other pillows around the bed a bit.

He went into his bathroom and hid everything except a razor, some toothpaste, some shaving cream, a bar of soap, shampoo, and a toothbrush. He washed his hands, dried them carefully, and went to look at his closet, sighing. He hid most of his clothes, ones that he was quite fond of, and a good deal of his shoes, too.

He looked around his now-unfamiliar rooms and assured himself Harry was worth it.

As he had expected, they did return to his rooms after dinner. Harry glanced around approvingly before crushing his lips to Severus'.

Six months later, they met in their coffee shop.

"Look, Harry, I know you don't like to talk about relationships and the like, but I do want to ask: How serious are you about all this?"

"Very serious. In fact, I was just about to ask if you wanted to live together."

Severus' heart stopped for a moment. "Yes," he managed to force out, "Although it would have to be close to Hogwarts."

"Could we live there?"

"I don't see why not. I'd have to talk to Albus, of course, but it should be fine."

"Good. Let me know what he says."

The next day, Harry received an owl from Severus: 'All is well. Let's set a date for it. I suggest not earlier than a week from now, as I need to make room for your things.'

Harry wrote back that two weeks sounded better, as he needed time to organize his things and get rid of the useless ones.

With that completed, Severus returned to Albus. "Albus, is there a small, empty room in the dungeons I can use as a storage room?"

"Of course, my dear boy. Pick any empty room there you want. Why do you want one?"

"Because Harry is coming to live with me, and instead of throwing some of my less-used things away, I just want to put them in storage."

Into boxes Severus put most of his clothes, shoes, and bathroom supplies. He put the boxes in the storage room and sighed. "Harry is worth it," he told himself forcefully. "He is."

Harry moved in when they had agreed he would.

They lived contently together for five months. Severus was careful to make sure that he didn't nag Harry about their relationship, although he felt that they definitely had to talk at some point. At the end of the day, when all he really wanted was to talk about how his day had been and be cuddled a little, he instead sat down with the evening paper and read silently next to Harry, who did the same. His hair became less fine without the usual treatments, his skin a little harder from the lack of moisturizers he had used before, and he no longer wore clothes he really liked, instead wearing the usual dark robes. Their rooms were perpetually messy, which drove Severus up the wall, as he enjoyed having nice, tidy rooms. Things were continually misplaced, and Severus uncharacteristically said nothing.

"Ready to go out?" Harry asked him, wrapping his arms around Severus' waist from behind.

"I'm trying to decide between my gray suit and my blue one."

"Go with the gray," Harry advised.

Severus nodded, turning his face towards his wardrobe so that Harry wouldn't see the sadness in his eyes. He put on the suit and sighed. His eyes didn't have the sharp definition they used to without the touch of makeup he used to use before Harry came to live with him.

Severus stirred his tea. "There's nothing for it. At the beginning, he made perfectly clear what he hated living with, and I love him beyond belief."

His companion snorted. "That much I can tell. You are willing to give up everything you loved doing for him."

"Draco, don't start this again."

Draco slammed down his spoon. "I just don't get it. While we were at school, you thought nothing of telling him when he was in the wrong. You wouldn't've put up with this kind of selfishness at all. Now that you're in love with him… Severus, look at yourself. You look like a shadow of what you used to. You've gained weight, despite the fact that you used to watch everything you ate with a hawk's eye. You're wearing clothing you only wore around the house everywhere now, you probably haven't worn a different pair of shoes in weeks, your hair is brittler, your eyes look kind of lost because you can't apply any make-up anymore… You've got a constant sniffle because you won't dust anymore, and you just told me how you looked for an hour for a Potions manuel. You're upset, because Potter doesn't like listening after a long day and doesn't particularly want to cuddle, just to have sex."

"I like the sex," Severus said petulantly.

Draco waved his comment aside. "Yes, yes, but you also liked being cuddled."

Severus nodded. "I know."

"You have to talk to him. If you've been seeing him for a year, and you can't say any of this…"

"I don't want to lose him. Look, I'm not gonna say anything."

Draco sighed. "Severus…"

"Draco, I appreciate the concern, but please, just… drop it, okay?"

Draco nodded sadly, but resolved to himself that he wouldn't let Severus take it sitting down anymore.

Harry entered their rooms a few weeks later, dropping his briefcase by the door. He didn't expect anyone to be in their rooms, since Severus usually didn't get off until 6:30, and Harry was almost always in by 5:45.

"I trust you had a good day?" a voice asked.

Harry turned around, confused. "Malfoy?" he asked incredulously. "What are you doing here? Severus won't be by for about another hour."

Draco nodded. "I know that. I came to see you."

Harry raised an eyebrow. "Look, I respect that you and Severus are good friends, but I hardly think we have much else in common, Malfoy."

"Potter, I'm not here because I desire your company particularly. I'm here because I'm worried about Severus."

"You should talk to him, then," Harry answered, hanging up his cloak.

Draco stood up angrily. "I have talked to him! He just doesn't want to address the problem. How could you do this to him?"

"How could I do what to him?"

"Can't you see that he's just a shadow of who he used to be? He's given up so many things just to be with you! You don't deserve him, especially if you're going to treat him the way you've been treating him!"

"What are you talking about?" Harry demanded. "Start making some sense soon, or I'm hexing you!"

"Apparantly, right before you two started going out, you went on this long tirade on everything you hate living with. Severus took that to heart! He stopped doing things he liked doing simply because you said you hated living with that."

Harry paled considerably. "Oh, Merlin. I didn't mean for him… I was frustrated by my previous girlfriend, who had taken everything to extremes. I usually don't mind it so much… Oh, dear sweet Merlin…" He sat down, clearly shaken. "I didn't mean for him to change. I love him the way he is. I do. I really do," he looked up at Draco, pathetically earnest.

Draco's ire softened.

"What… how has he changed? What has he done? How can I… undo it?"

Draco smiled slightly, convinced that Harry was an okay guy, if he were willing to do that. He sat down.

"Severus has an incredible dress sense and has – had – many different kinds of clothes and shoes, for just about every occasion and then some. He packed almost all of it away because you complained about stuffed wardrobes. If he is wearing flashier clothes, he likes being reassured that he looks good. Not just fine, good. He also used to take extraordinary care of his hair and skin, so the bathroom would usually be full of different shampoos, conditioners, moisturizers and the like. But you…"

"Yes, I know what I complained about. Stop piling on the guilt and tell me what else to do!"

"Okay, okay. He is incredibly tidy and everything has to be in its place for him to be comfortable. The rooms always have to be pristine, the bed made, and everything dust-free. Dust makes him sneeze, anyway. He's been taking antihistamines for it, instead of living in a dust-free enviroment. He likes wearing make-up."

Harry stared at Draco, wide-eyed.

"No, not crimson lipstick and the like. He wears a little around the eyes to define them better. Not anymore, of course. He used to watch what he ate very carefully, to stay thin. He's gained some weight, which bothers him. He really likes to talk at the end of his day, especially if he's had a bad one, and he likes to cuddle, even if it doesn't lead to sex, or if it doesn't come after sex. He just likes holding and being held, he likes walking in public holding his partner's hand, and he likes knowing he's loved. He needs to talk about the state of the relationship he's in, otherwise he gets nervous and agitated if he's being a bad partner or if he's expecting too much or too little from the other person."

Harry bit his lip and dropped his head. "I can't believe I've been so unbelievably selfish and oblivious."

He looked Draco in the eye. "Thank you. I promise I'll try to change. I'm… I'm sorry."

Draco nodded and stood. "Then I will leave. Good-bye." He picked up his gloves and his cane. "And Potter?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

Harry smiled. "Get, get! I doubt I can clean all this up quickly, but I can try. Wait… Malfoy, where does he like everything?"

Draco shrugged. "But once he knows you don't mind him endlessly tidying, he'll put everything in its right place. Just don't touch his Potions stuff."

"Thanks."

Draco left.

Harry tidied up and made the bed. He cast a general dusting charm and some air-freshening ones. Then he changed into Muggle clothes, wrote Severus a note, and walked out, resolving to get Severus a little something to make up for his awful treatment.

He went to a Muggle store, where he bought Severus a set of fragrant soaps, shampoos, bath bubbles, and lotion. He asked the clerk to wrap it and set off for Hogwarts again, whistling merrily. Once outside the store, he surreptitiously shrunk it down and put it in his pocket.

Harry entered their rooms again. "Severus?" he called.

Severus emerged from his laboratory. "Hey. Everything okay?"

"Yep. How was your day?"

Severus did a double-take. Harry almost never asked him that.

"It was okay," Severus answered uncertainly. He didn't elaborate, assuming that Harry was probably just being polite. He remembered that Harry didn't like talking at the end of his day.

Harry chuckled. "That I don't believe. Unless, that is, you got to take three hundred points from Gryffindor and made a third of the Gryffindors serve dention tonight." Being so talkative felt unnatural to Harry, but he could see the light come into Severus' eyes at the chance to talk. Harry cursed himself for not realizing it sooner and sent a prayer of thanks towards Malfoy.

"It wasn't that bad. I started with third-year Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. They're more mellow than the majority of my classes, so it was a good start to the day. Most of them actually made the potion correctly, and I only had one explosion there. Took house points, naturally, gave a detention, but it was fine. Well, then I had my fifth-year Gryffindor and Slytherin class, and that was tough. They're always bickering and fighting and it's really not conducive to potion-making. Since the War is over, I've been stricter with my Slytherins, too, so both Slytherin and Gryffindor lost house points, but nothing like three hundred. More explosions there, one of which just would not come off the ceiling, no matter how many scrubbing spells I cast. Well, it's off now, because their detention was to scrub it off the Muggle way. Although… not a third of the Gryffindors… Anyway, then there was lunch, which was bad because Albus decided it was the perfect time to engage me in pointless conversation regarding my pupils, like I don't know what I'm doing! But, after lunch I would normally have my Advanced class, but they're on a trip with Minerva, so I got an hour and a half to myself. The last class was quite uneventful."

"Wow. Sounds like you had a busy day."

Severus nodded. Harry walked up to him and wrapped his arms around Severus. Severus hesitated for a moment, wondering if it would lead to sex – which he didn't want to have right then – but the urge to cuddle was strong and he hugged Harry back.

"I got you a little something," Harry said, handing Severus the gift after enlarging it again.

Severus opened it and gasped. "How did you know… The _bastard!_"

Harry stared at Severus, puzzled.

"I told him not to say a word!"

"No, Severus, please, it's alright. He was right to tell me. I was an unmitigated ass about this whole thing. He was entirely right to tell me. Well… no, he wasn't, _you_ should've told me, but failing that… _someone_ had to tell me, I wasn't going to figure out on my own that I was being an ass and hurting you."

Severus looked at Harry worriedly. "You wouldn't mind…?" he asked, trailing off hopefully.

"No, Merlin, _no!_ I love you the way you are. I'm sorry, Sev."

"You wouldn't mind me doing those things again?"

Harry kissed Severus chastely. "_NO!_ Merlin, Severus, I want you the way you want to be. If wearing a lot of different clothes and makeup, and tidying a lot, and wanting to talk and cuddle make you happy, then I'm fine with it. Just… don't take it to extremes. Sev, I'm not unreasonable… why didn't you say something?"

Severus looked uncomfortable. "I didn't want to lose you."

Harry saddened. "I wish you would have _said something_. It isn't healthy not to… well, not to say anything about it when you're clearly hurting. Sev…"

Severus tightened his arms around Harry. "I… _love _you. More now than ever."

He paused. "But, if you don't mind, why did you go on such a rant before?"

Harry sighed. "The girlfriend I broke up with right before the rant did all of that − but took it to extremes. She had five different closets stuffed so full of clothes that she had no idea what was in them. She had at least seventy shoes. The bathroom was full of half-used cans that would have been growing mold if they weren't so full of chemicals. In fact, I'm not sure they weren't moldy despite the chemicals. I got home and before I even hung up my coat and put down my briefcase, she started prattling about her day. It was like machine gun fire at my mind. We'd go out in public and she'd be _hanging_ off my arm, caressing me, calling me every single pet name she could think of… I went crazy with it."

He stroked Severus' cheek lightly. "Severus… really… please, go back to whatever routines you had. Anything that bothers me I'll discuss with you and we can compromise."

Severus smiled brightly and kissed Harry briefly. "Yes. Oh, Harry… I'm sorry…"

"For what, you nitwit? I'm the one who asked you − albeit unwittingly − to change."

"Yes, but… I'm sorry for not bringing it up before… for not telling you."

Harry went towards the couch and pulled Severus down with him. Severus hesitated a moment, then laid his head on Harry's shoulder. Harry smiled and put his arm around Severus' shoulders, rubbing gently.

"Just so I know, what should I expect?"

Severus snorted. "Let's see… I have a lot of clothes, so the closet will be pretty full of things. If we go out, I like wearing nicer clothes… and don't just tell me they look fine. Fine isn't really a compliment. If they don't look okay, you can tell me so, but fine doesn't mean anything."

"Okay. So either they're crappy or gorgeous. Gorgeous like you."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Impertinent brat. I also have a lot of shoes…"

"Oh, no! I _will not_ say a word about your shoes. Unless they're really badly matched with your current clothing, I won't say anything. I have no eye for this kind of thing."

Severus laughed. "That's fine. I was just warning you that I have a lot… and they will be cluttering up space…"

"I doubt it, given that you would keep them neatly somewhere."

"Which reminds me, I like my living space very tidy. I tidy incessantly. It has to be dustfree."

"Okay, but my space is mine… I'd appreciate it if you didn't tidy my things too. Things on my desk, for example."

"Fair enough," Severus conceded. "I like various products for my skin and hair, so they will be in the bathroom… I wear a touch of makeup around my eyes…"

He paused, waiting to see Harry's reaction.

"Fine, not a problem. Just point out which one is the makeup so I don't accidentally put some on me, and on the wrong place too."

Severus laughed at that. "An interesting mental image to be sure, but fine, I'll tell you which one it is."

"So, what else can I expect?"

"I like cuddling… as you can tell… I like talking about my day, and I like holding your hand in public."

Harry smiled. "If you don't hang off my arm, I don't mind. Simple hand-holding isn't a problem."

Severus felt relieved.

"One more… I need to assess the relationship I'm in every so often."

Harry nodded. "Okay. As long as it's not daily and you respect when I say I don't have the energy for it…"

Severus nodded. "That's fine. Compromise involves me giving up something, too."

"Right now, I don't have much of a leg to stand on."

Severus tilted his head back to look Harry in the eye. "You took a huge step today. You could've continued to ignore it and go with what was comfortable for you… you didn't. You chose to honor my desires, too, even though I had made no mention of them."

Harry dropped a kiss on his forehead. "I love you very much, Severus. I want you to be happy, not resentful."

Severus snuggled back against Harry's chest and sighed happily. It was going to be okay. He knew that now.

A/N: This actually will eventually have a sequel. I hope.


End file.
